[Zach & Chris]
Look! I fixed it! Let’s hope by the 2250s, this is how men are answering this question.
“Five years in space, isolated on the ship. I just have to ask, Captain, since we’re all wondering. Lieutenant Uhura or Dr. Marcus?”
Kirk frowns at the reporter, blinks against the lights and cameras before rubbing his chin in thought.
“Well,” he hems. “That’s… that’s really a hard question when you think about the two of them. Don’t you think, Commander?”
“I mean, Lieutenant Uhura won the K’Bentayr Award before she was halfway through the Academy and the Koeppel Grant for her work reconstructing lost Vulcan texts, which she did in her free time while serving a tour on the Enterprise’s maiden voyage.”
“Additionally, she received the Robau Memorial Scholarship for her unparalleled proficiency in xenolinguistics and has mastered the majority of languages represented in the Federation,” Spock adds.
“And she’s a fantastic member of our bridge crew, one of the most intelligent and competent people I know,” Kirk continues thoughtfully. “She is smart. Really easy to get along with, never loses her cool, and keeps us all in check.”
Kirk glances over at Spock, who nods in agreement.
“Also, she stabbed a Klingon in the balls with his own knife.”
Spock frowns. “I believe that is classified, sir.”
“Sure it is,” Kirk says with a laugh. “But then, right, on the other hand, Dr. Marcus. I mean, wow. She aced her interview with this guy-“ Kirk hooks his thumb at Spock “-which should be award winning in its own right. And that’s before we even consider her doctorate in advanced weaponry from Oxford, the fact she’s been nominated for the Cochrane Medal of Excellence for her work reconfiguring Earth’s defenses over the last year while the Enterprise was refit, plus the fact she worked for 18 hours on a broken leg the first time I met her. She is really tough and a really wonderful person. We are incredibly thrilled that she’s chosen to join the crew and feel lucky to have the opportunity to call her a shipmate.”
“They are both quite outstanding officers, both excel in their chosen fields and it is, indeed, difficult to compare their qualifications and accomplishments.”
"We’ve worked with the Lieutenant longer, for sure, but are so excited to now have the honor of working with Dr. Marcus as well. How could we really decide?" Kirk grins at the consternated reporter. “Does that answer it?”
“Uh, not… um…”
“Would you prefer to rephrase the question?” Spock asks, stoic and calm as the reporter frowns slightly, laughs awkwardly.
“Ah, no. Thank you both.”